First impressions matter. Your profile pic, your interests, even your tone can make someone decide on you in less than a second. Recently, LifeHacker asked viewers to give their successful tips and tricks to a great dating profile – here’s the best of the lot…
Here’s something I’ve had some success with as a guy: list your non-starters in your profile. Girls do this all the time in their profiles (“If you have [xyz quality] don’t bother messaging me”) but it didn’t occur to me that I should be doing this too. Here’s basically what I started out with on an OKCupid profile:
“I’ve got two kids and I spend half of every week with them. If you don’t like kids or aren’t cool dating a guy with kids, you shouldn’t message me.”
I always stop and think “Why did this person put this picture up?”
Every picture you have has some meaning, even if it’s just “I look good.” So use your pictures to highlight things about your life you want to highlight. Make the pictures mean something, not just 5 super tight selfies with different pictures.
It doesn’t matter what you say. I’ve tried being funny, witty, short and sweet, honest, trying to find common ground, mentioning things I liked about their profile and even using a template. If a woman doesn’t want to respond, she won’t. Getting through the noise is almost impossible unless you’re really handsome or have a photo of a dog or some other random thing that a girl is going to go crazy over that’s unique to that girl.
What i always looked for was uniqueness. Which i realise is a bit flimsy, because it’s so damn subjective. But typical profiles are a dime a dozen and i’m just so not interested.
For example, selfies in cars? NO. I absolutely will not contact anyone who has a car selfie as their main profile photo. If it’s buried deeper in the photos it’s still a high marker for disqualification.
The more sarcastic, banter-y, or unusual the text, the more likely i am to initiate. There are a few ranters out there that are worth avoiding, but for the most part intelligence is relatively easy to pick up in a profile and that’s so totally what i’m seeking. The more books you list, the better. No books at all, or an active dislike of reading? Yeahno.
After being burned a few times, I’ve learned that sarcasm can be a double-edged sword. It usually manifested in some form of “if you don’t agree with me, it’s because you’re ignorant/dumb/have bad taste, and I will make you feel bad about it.”
Actually, anyone whose primary sense of humor relies on mocking others is someone I’d be wary of. It’s funny when it’s someone or something you don’t value, but it’s rather demoralizing when they get snarky about things you truly care about.
I read all the advice in the world and even asked female friends to send my profile to their girl friends who didn’t know me, to have it picked apart. Every one came back and said things like, “whoa, if I was single I’d date him in half a heart beat”. I went into it with very low expectations. I’m a tall, athletic guy, but I don’t post those idiotic shirtless, or skin tight muscle shirt photos. Just normal, good clothes. I’m not really sure how women view my face. Overall, I thought I would at least get a response here, or a response there. My response rate after a year was flat zero. None, nada, zilch, zero. All I ever said where things like, “I see you have a dog! What’s the little guy’s name?” Things like that. So I gave up. Figured if I’m meant to be single for the rest of my life, then I guess that’s what’ll happen. It’s much less demeaning, anyway.
What do you think? Comments accepted.